Mani Pedi

“And that madness—talking to animals, trees, that part of themselves which suffocates and explodes, that transference—you find it in all women, including women of the middle class. It’s what I call their neurosis. Neurosis in women is so ancient, thousands of years old—all women are neurotic in my opinion—that people are used to their behavior. . . Of course women express this neurosis differently in our day. They no longer talk to animals or trees, because, apparently, they aren’t alone. In fact, however, they are completely alone in their millions, in their poverty, in their comfort, and in their slums, in all their completely functional marriages—whether rich or poor. They are as alone as before, and everywhere. Madness has found other expressions but it is still there. It is still the same madness. ” –Marguerite Duras interview, 1975 ♣Add a Tooltip Text

madness what madness i don’t see any madness.
wait wait yes I do maybe what does it look like?

Marriage is completely functional. 1 pt.
Still shopping in the regular sizes, not sneaking around the Plus department. 1 pt.
Holidays with extended family, at least one member per holiday. 2pt.
What? Completely functional marriage scores negative points? Okay, fine. -3.
Exercising at least two but no more than six times a week. +20
Healthy facebook birthday scroll. +2
Not attracted to Justin Bieber. 0+
Member of the Jane Austen Book Club. +50
Never been involved in a hit-and-run. +1

Not in prison, not a French intellectual, not harboring body lice of any kind, not missing teeth, not wanted by law enforcement, not pregnant, not menopausal, voting when appropriate, not involved in politics at the state or local level, not over-commenting online, not having an affair, not teaching children immersion Mandarin, not hoarding, not gambling or gardening compulsively.

Not currently starring in Reality TV. 100 pts.

Oh, and don’t forget, Marguerite Duras is dead. She was confident, but she was mad. Her heroines are crazy. Crazy sexy, crazy scary.
They live on, if you can bear it.

Define crazy. NO, define sane.
I can’t, I won’t. It might implicate me, my friends, and the pedicure arts in general.